I love law and order, therefore I destroy law and order.

The richness of a life well-lived demands it.

my momma told me..you'd better joke around

I'm a master of disguise. That picture of me you're looking at, make-up, prosthetics, stage glue and mirrors. Actually, I'm 112 pound Jockey working out of Pimilico in Maryland. Then again, maybe I'm not...

I was Princess Hatharhar in my last life. That's hat as in something that goes on top. And, Harhar as in Har-de-har-har or the sound of someone laughing. Making me the High Princess of making people laugh.

Because if I'm not telling jokes, I'm going to sing. And, you don't want to hear that!

I dedicate this iJoke to the one I love. Me!

I want to get on Celebrity Fit Club. But, first I have to be a celebrity. And, then my career has to tank. And, then I have to eat my way into an embarrassing state of blubberlyness... So, c'mon, help me out with step one!!!

Ssssssssh, I'm hunting wabbits.

I'm naked from the ankles down.

you like me, you really like me.

I really, really want you to like me. No really. What do you want? A gold Bracelete? A Corvette? Cash?

I need to go to the bathroom and I'm not leaving until you play my iJoke.

This is Dennis Miller being funny.

For every person who watches this video in its entirety, and angel will get their wings.